Post #12
As a Highly Sensitive Person who has fibromyalgia and the inability to process histamines, I've become anxious about traveling. I was especially worried when I agreed to go on a cruise with my daughter a couple of years ago because I had never been on a cruise and wasn't sure that I could find food that I could digest or if I would be able to take the noise of a ship full of people. However, all went extremely well, as the waiters and chef bent over backward to make eating enjoyable for me, and it was easy to return to my room whenever I felt tired, achey, or overstimulated. I used noise-canceling headphones to block out one of our roommate's snoring and other noises and a heating pad to ease my back pain. However, it wasn't inevitable that all would go well. There were two main reasons that it was a fantastic trip: I planned ahead, anticipating my health concerns and bringing the appropriate items that I would need, and I voiced my needs to the people who could help me (such as the waiters, my roommates, etc.)
Currently, I am again planning for a trip and feeling anxiety. This time not because I have never been to England, but because I traveled there several times when I was younger, and I remember the long distance walks and unexpected snags that were then full of adventure, but would just be painful now. Also, this time I will be traveling with a group, which I'm excited about and fearful of at the same time because I don't want my health issues to be a burden to all. Once again, I'm trying to plan ahead, consider different environmental conditions that cause me pain, and discern what it will take to avoid being miserable when I should be enjoying this wonderful birthday gift.
As anxious as I am about this trip, I realize it is only for nine days, and I will be able to enjoy it with correct planning and the help of my family. A much bigger fear (that I usually try to suppress) is the fear of where I might live in the future if I can no longer take care of myself. This fear stems from the fact that both my dad and mom spent their last years in memory care. I saw that living in a new place was difficult for them, and, as far as I know, neither had as many health issues and sensitivities as I do. I worry because recently I've been reacting with nausea and headaches to food smells, loud noises, and visual stimulation (fast movement, bright lights, etc.), as well as needing time alone after being around people for awhile, and I wonder how I will manage my reactions if one day I need to be in a residential setting where it might be difficult to escape these stimulants that cause me anxiety and migraines.
To give this worrisome subject a positive spin, I want to take you on an imaginary trip to what I would consider "HSP Caregiving Utopia." What I envision is not quite an unbreakable floating bubble where I can see the world from on high and avoid all pain. (My daughter was teasing me about this yesterday--she suggested they could attach a string on a bubble and pull me around England.) Even though living in a balloon sounds like fun (for a short time), I'm a little more practical than that for the long term.
First of all, the perfect environment will be free of constant noise and strong odors, including cooking smells. Secondly, I will live somewhere that I can be in contact with nature. My spirit would feel satisfied if I were able to walk out the backdoor onto a walking trail with trees. If I'm bedridden, I desire a window with a view of plants, trees, and flowers. If this isn't possible, then a room full of large tropical plants and an indoor fountain will have to do.
While I'm dreaming. . .my utopian setting would be something like a monastery with plenty of quiet and individual rooms or outdoor cabins (depending on my cognitive and/or physical abilities.) I would enjoy an activity with people once a day, but also plenty of quiet time. Hopefully I will still be able to paint, read, and write; otherwise, I will need to find a simple way to be creative. Quiet music and an occasional movie (without violence or fast movement) would suit as well. I will need a regular (gentle) exercise program because even now I frequently forget to move around. Of course, I will need a small, furry, quiet, cuddly dog for company.
A weekly massage and daily hot tub or infrared sauna would help with the fibromyalgia pain just as it does now. I would like to continue in a doctor's care who uses both natural and medicinal remedies to treat my health issues. Reading over my wish list, I realize that what I'm describing (except the monastery setting) is what my life is like now--minus the freedom from strong odors that often send me spinning into a migraine. Perhaps I'm wishing that my life won't change as I age--although I still hold the hope that I will eventually find the right treatment to significantly lessen or completely alleviate the pain and negative reactions.
The purpose of my rambling on about my fantasies for the perfect place to age is to encourage my readers to consider your own future just in case one day you are on the care receiving end. If you are an HSP, it is especially important to consider your sensitivities and how you would react if thrown into a noisy/busy situation where you might not have a choice about when or how you interact with people, smells, etc. The reason we need to plan is not only for our own health and comfort, but also for the people we would be living with. An HSP who cannot get away from over stimulation becomes miserable, and usually that misery spills out on others who are near.
Perhaps the solution to our possible future as care receivers is to plan ahead beyond financial resources and to voice our sensitivities and needs to those close to us and to our health care providers. Doing so will help them understand what we are going through now and what we will be facing in the future. A useful practice might be to write a list of preferences and give it to someone we can trust to supervise our caregiving in a loving manner. Additionally, considering our own unique needs will help us to look more closely at the needs of the person(s) we are presently caring for, enabling us to create the most comfortable and joyful environment possible in each caregiving situation
Commentaires