Post #19
As my mom grew more forgetful she began to gain weight. The gym open to women only closed in her small town, and she was embarrassed to exercise at the co-ed gym. She had a hard time remembering to exercise at home, and eventually she couldn’t remember why there was a need to exercise. As time went on, she also couldn’t remember when she had eaten, and so she’d eat again. She indulged in seconds and thirds of her favorite foods, especially dessert. Unfortunately, most of the food she ate was from restaurants as she had forgotten how to cook. Mom, who was only 5 feet tall, went from a size 4 in 2005 to a size 18 when she died in 2012.
Many of the people that I encountered, including those who worked with the elderly told me adamantly, ‘it’s best to let “them” (people with dementia) eat whatever they want because it gives them pleasure, and after all they don’t have many ways to enjoy life any more.” And they would add, “She will probably lose weight at the end, so it will help to have a little cushion now.”
The main problem with this reasoning was that Mom’s “cushion” made her miserable. First of all the more weight she gained, the more her knees hurt, so she wasn’t able to exercise much. Secondly, she engaged in all types of self-hate talk whenever she saw herself in a mirror or photo. At first she would cry and ask me what she could do to lose weight; then toward the end, she just denied that the person she saw in photos was herself. She remembered herself as small, and that made her happy.
It was out of love and concern for Mom’s physical and emotional health that I put Mom on a restricted diet when she first came to live with us. I was able to help her lose about 15 pounds during the first few months. I did this by making sure we were all eating healthy at meal times, pushing small helpings of healthy snacks (usually fruit), and not allowing anyone to eat dessert in front of her. (We also did as much walking as we could with her arthritic knees.) I had to remain ever vigilant as almost every where we went we were offered sugary and fattening temptations.
At one point, however, I realized that I would need to enroll Mom in an adult day center for a couple of days a week, so that I could work part-time. At our first encounter I discussed my attempts to keep her on a healthy diet and the fact that these were supported by her doctor. The kitchen staff promised to reduce the sugar and calories that they normally served. Yet Mom began to gain weight again. In fact, in every place that she lived after that her weight gain increased. I had plenty of discussions with the people in charge, but no one else seemed to be concerned—except Mom, who continued to bemoan her overweight condition even while she kept helping herself to more because she couldn’t understand the relationship between eating and weight gain.
Of course, it’s not the individuals’ fault —the idea of food bringing pleasure is inherent in our twenty-first century society. If you’re celebrating, it must be done with piles of food. If you’re depressed, eat your cares away. Children are often rewarded for good behavior or academic accomplishment with “food,” and as we age we reward or calm ourselves with our favorite “comfort food”.
The real problem with equating twenty-first century “food” with every aspect of our lives is that much of it is not really food—in the sense of food being something that nourishes us physically. I know that most people don’t want to hear this because most of us want to deny the harm to our bodies our favorite past times cause, but let’s be realistic: some of our “food” is “killing us softly” with sugar and additives and calories that exceed our exercise habits, not to mention a scarcity of vitamins and minerals in diets where vegetables are scarce.
Recently several published studies have shown a relationship between diet and the development of Alzheimer’s and other diseases. As a result we have the benefit of dietary recommendations that our parents didn't have. A Mediterranean diet is encouraged by many physicians and health organizations today, including the Alzheimer’s Association and the American Heart Association. A good explanation of this diet can be found on the nutrition page of the Mayo Clinic website: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/mediterranean-diet/art-20047801.
Another diet that has been proven to prevent, reverse, or slow the progress of Alzheimer’s disease for some people (especially when used within the entire protocol) can be found in the book The End of Alzheimer’s by Dr. Dale Bredesen. I found a good summary of the basic ideas behind his protocol on this site: https://thewomensalzheimersmovement.org/end-of-alzheimers-dale-bredesen/ After reading Bredesen's book, I decided to find a doctor who could support me in my efforts to fight this disease before it takes over my life as it did my father’s and mother’s. The Bredesen approach is more individualized than following a general diet. It begins with genomic and blood tests; then supplements and other recommendations are given in accordance with your own needs. Other health conditions are considered, so that, as in my case, the diet may have to be adjusted to meet all of your needs.
Research continues to reveal new aspects of Alzheimer’s and other diseases, but it is generally agreed that diet —as well as exercise— are a big part of the solution to keeping our minds and bodies healthy. And as for the claim that food brings happiness when nothing else can, I have found many ways to keep myself and (formerly) Mom enjoying life, including music, crafts, and puzzles . . . but I’ve already written other posts about these. For now I’ll just leave you with one major thought —a quality diet extends life in most circumstances, and it also extends the possibilities of expanding your loved one’s enjoyment beyond a craving to be comforted by food.
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