Post #25
When giving long term care, I like to know as much about a person and their physical/ psychological/ emotional characteristics as I can, so that I can better serve their needs. This was true especially with my children and my mother. I haven’t considered this quite as much with others that were short term or part time, but there have been times when I’ve noticed that someone was a little different than most people I’d known. Sometimes it was that they seemed kinder, more understanding, more receptive of care. Other times they seemed to be more troubled by noise or activity. I didn’t know it back then, but it is likely that these people were highly sensitive as defined by the researcher and psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron.
A highly sensitive person (HSP), also known as someone who has “sensory processing sensitivity” will react to the environment and people with extra attention because they sense everything at a deeper or stronger level. To summarize the attributes of highly sensitive people, Dr. Aron uses the acronym DOES (For more information on her research see https://hsperson.com/faq/evidence-for-does/ ) The following is a summary of the information shared on the link above, along with my comments on how this relates to caregivers. I haven’t referred to the data-based research that validates the reality of high sensitivity in 15-20% of the world’s population. For more information and a list of data based studies see https://hsperson.com/research/published-articles/.
DOES
D represents “depth of processing,” which means that an HSP is constantly considering and comparing/contrasting everything they notice. Frequently a person will take a very long time to make a decision because they are considering all the options. It may be easy for a frazzled caretaker to become impatient while the care receiver makes up their mind about what to wear or eat. I have often heard parents of young children or caregivers of the elderly complain about how long one of their charges takes to make up her/his mind. Perhaps discovering that this trait is inherent will help caregivers to be more understanding. On the other hand, there are times when HSPs have already been considering everything, and they answer a more difficult question “intuitively” with an ease that may seem totally out of character.
O stands for “overstimulation,” a common reaction HSPs have to complex or intense situations because of their depth of processing: for example, those situations that are noisy, very emotional, have a lot of visual intake, or last a long time. If you notice that a person in your care becomes agitated around noise or where there are a lot of people moving (or action TV)— or if they tire more easily than others of their age after a stimulating activity, then you might find that they aren’t just being cranky or anti-social. Of course there could be a medical explanation for their reactions, and there might even be a health or psychological issue magnifying the original trait of high sensitivity.
E refers to both “Emotional Reactivity” and “Empathy.” These traits are related to the emotions experienced around other people. Usually an HSP will have a higher emotional sensitivity to others, and for some HSPs that can mean feeling others’ emotions so strongly it is as if they have the emotions themselves. This can make it very hard on an HSP who is around someone else who is always depressed or frequently angry. If an HSP is the recipient of emotional or other abuse as a child then he/she is more likely to react strongly than a child without this personality trait—perhaps through disassociation or another clinically identifiable trauma reaction. However, they also respond more favorably to intervention. Relating emotionally with others is a high priority to HSPs, although you might not recognize it because of their tendency to need more alone time. As a caregiver you can help an HSP balance their time spent with people and their need to recharge alone. Each person will have their own tolerance level— so you can try them out in small size groups or one-on-one.
S signifies “Sensing the Subtle.” Sometimes this aspect of high sensitivity manifests itself in noticing things others miss physically (a useful skill for detectives, designers, and video gamers). It is most distinct, however, in the way that an HSP notices the subtle meaning of words or the subtle body messages that communicate a cashier at the grocery store is having a bad day. Perhaps you’ve noticed that someone under your care seems to always know when you’re angry, frustrated or sad. You try to hide your own feelings so that you can be a conscientious caregiver, yet they seem to know anyway. They may react to your own mood by adopting a similar mood of their own, or they may try to comfort you. Once you suspect that the person you’re caring for is an HSP, you might as well give up trying to hide the fact that it’s not a good day for you. It might be best to just acknowledge the fact that you’re not having a great day and admit that you don’t want to discuss it—unless, of course, it’s something that relates to the care receiver and they can profit by the discussion.
I want to offer an example of a time when I learned to recognize a highly sensitive person and adjusted my care accordingly (though this was before Dr. Aron's research, so I had no idea that the category HSP existed). From birth I recognized that my second daughter was created from different cloth than the first. She was quieter and definitely what we called “more sensitive,” a term many considered negative, and she was often encouraged to “toughen up.” I didn’t share this common attitude, and now I understand that it was because of my own highly sensitive trait. Instead I responded intuitively and tried to help her learn to deal with each situation. I soon discovered that gentle correction would do more for her than for her rambunctious siblings. This doesn’t mean she didn’t disobey, but that she needed tender, consistent direction rather than harsh punishment.
New people and large groups seemed to overwhelm her, and she frequently hid behind me when being introduced to someone new, even in elementary school. She was also extremely tender hearted and compassionate: as a toddler she would cover me with her “Bankie” when I was sick--with such a tender, understanding touch I could hardly believe she was a child.
Being a highly sensitive person in a world with specific expectations can be difficult. As a child my daughter had her feelings hurt frequently over little things, and large events such as the disloyalty of a friend were devastating. Because people don’t respond well to someone who’s frequently showing emotion, she eventually blocked her ability to cry. As a teenager she didn’t cry for several years until one day the flood waters broke open. At that time I could never explain why she reacted to things in this way, but I knew in my heart there was some special reason. Of course when I discovered Dr. Aron’s research on sensory processing sensitivity I wanted to share these findings with her. She has found reading about HSPs a self-liberating process.
I think of the many caregiving situations I’ve been involved in and wonder what might have been different if I had known how to recognize the traits of people who are highly sensitive. I’m sure I would have paid closer attention to individual differences and the need to recognize someone’s inherent traits and alter my approach appropriately. I believe that being a conscientious caregiver who focuses on a care receiver’s strengths and understands their weaknesses enables the person receiving care to better utilize their physical and mental capabilities.