Post 45
When I first started writing this blog, I wrote two posts each week. This was necessary in order to build up a store of readings for caregivers who would come to the website looking for ideas or encouragement. It was also necessary for me to release all of my pent-up memories and fulfill my longing to encourage others who are facing the problems and joys of caregiving.
Eventually my writing slowed to one post a week, and it was my intention to keep that weekly writing in full swing. However, you know what they say about best intentions . . . Suffice it to say, that I dropped to twice a month . . . once a month . . . and now I haven’t published anything since the end of February.
So what’s been happening in my life that’s prevented my writing? Well, here’s the story (short version) . . .
You may remember the post I published in August about moving elderly parents or other relatives/friends. https://www.caregiversalmanac.org/post/to-move-or-not-to-move-a-profound-caregiving-question The day after I hit the “publish” button on that post, my daughter Jada came over to help me plant some Jerusalem artichokes in honor of my grandmother/her great-grandmother. My health was slowly improving, so I had begun to do a little gardening again. The small trees in the green belt behind our house had grown taller, our hummingbird garden was blooming, attracting bees, hummingbirds, and butterflies. . . to make a long description less long, I had grown to love our backyard and the surrounding area. As I told Jada, “This has been my second favorite place to live—as far as nature goes.” (The first being the 11 acres we owned when I was in my late twenties and my children were pre-school through early elementary.)
After the planting, we sat down to talk with my husband, Ron, because Jada said she had something important to discuss. (Oh no…?) Then she dropped the bomb . . . she had a job opportunity in Springfield, Missouri, which would allow her to use her unique abilities, background, and training to do what she felt was important work within the organization where she is employed. Ron and I immediately realized that it was something she should pursue, but I felt a pang of sadness—no, complete loss—just considering that I wouldn’t be close to my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughters. (I had moved to Austin when my first granddaughter was born and had always enjoyed the luxury of being in the same city where I could watch both girls grow.)
After we encouraged Jada to seriously consider this option because we felt it was a wonderful opportunity, she carefully posed the question, “Would you guys consider moving with us?” I looked around at the environment I’d grown to love and again felt a pain of loss—but not as deep as the first. I knew we would explore the possibility, and accepting that fact lessened the stabbing feeling I’d been holding since the first mention of Jada and family moving away.
For the next week or two I explored online opportunities in Springfield for medical care, shopping, and churches. While choices weren’t as plentiful as in Austin, I was encouraged that I could survive in a smaller city. In fact, Ron and I were both tired of the endless traffic and development that continues to make Austin more prosperous and less appealing (to us anyway). The main thing that had been keeping us from moving to one of the smaller communities outside of Austin is the increased distance to family. Ron conceded that if I really wanted to move he was willing. In fact, it was a win/win — the move would put us 700 miles closer to our kids and grandkids on his side of the family!
So we decided to move, packed our bags, bought a house, and here we are . . . well, not quite so cut and dry as it sounds. . . Oh for those days of youth when things happened quickly and without the chronic pain of age. We move a lot slower now and have accumulated a lot more stuff over the years. Yet I’m glad we accepted the adventure while we still have some energy and wits to sustain us.
For those who might be contemplating a big move that seems challenging, I want to share a few of the obstacles we’ve faced and how we’ve climbed over them …with a great deal of clumsiness sometimes. I’ve decided to tell the rest of this story in the next post. Perhaps the details will encourage some of you who are moving yourself or a family member, but even if no moves are in sight presently, at least you will gain insight into why it has taken me so long to get back into the swing of weekly writing.
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